3 Strategies To Help You Stop Second Guessing Yourself & Take Action
Episode 3 How To Cultivate Confidence!
Do you second guess yourself and resist taking action because you doubt your decisions? In todays episode we examine confidence and dissect what confident people have that others seem to lack. Listen in for 3 tips I use to help cultivate confidence.
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Hey Mama! Does the idea of doing something new make your stomach do somersaults? Do you struggle with making decisions or sticking to the decision you made?
Let's unpack confidence today and allow me to share with you three tips I use to help cultivate confidence.
If you have followed my story then you know, I worked in the automotive industry for 20 years. During my tenure, most of the time was spent managing call centers. I often hired people with little to no experience and trained them to work in my department. One of the first tasks I instructed my new agents to do was to call customers and confirm their appointment with service. I was surprised how, time and again, new agents would feel jitters of nervousness at the idea of calling customers to remind them of an appointment they scheduled.
Often during training the agent would listen to me on an example call and they would remark with wonder, "you are so confident!" At that time, and in that space, I was confident, but only because I had made hundreds of calls.
More recently, while starting my new business as a podcaster and coach on The Passive Income Examiner, a close friend of mine listened to my podcast and complimented me by saying I sounded confident and poised. I was a little taken aback by that because being new at podcasting I certainly did not feel confident.
I felt nervous while recording. I would edit my episodes and the entire time wonder if I should scrap it and start over. Each decision I made was made feeling blind. Not knowing if it was right, wrong, or indifferent. So, when my friend commented on my confidence I began to wonder, "How can someone think I sound confident when I feel like a fish out of water?"
I googled the definition of confidence to help me understand this topic better. "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust."
"Hmm," I thought, "firm trust..."
I certainly did not trust the outcome of my actions although I did have a belief that if I kept at it long enough something would work out.
I realized that I feel confident doing things I've done before like starting call centers, or applying for a job, but I did not feel confident starting new things. I noticed that even while feeling unsure I keep moving forward. I asked myself, "What keeps me moving forward?"
For a full day I contemplated self-confidence. I wanted to understand how I exude this image of steel so that I could teach others. I realized that even though I doubt decisions I make and sometimes question if I am doing the right thing, ultimately I keep moving forward because I AM BRAVE.
People mistake bravery for confidence.
Bravery means to be courageous. The word dates back to the Italian root Bravado meaning BOLD.
As entrepreneurs we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect.
Going through the process of building a new business I've learned that we all have to go through the same stages. No one gets to skip over being new.
It's not necessary to have our entire story figured out when starting. It is alright if we change and morph as we go. All success requires is a willingness to take the first step. A willingness to be bold until we have confidence.
Here are three tips I use to have courage and overcome self-doubt.
Tip #1: Practice the philosophy, "It's none of my business what people think of me."
Often, we second guess ourselves because we worry about other people's opinion of us or our finished product. What if they don't like it? What if it seems silly? What if it doesn't sell? The way I look at it is, if you think it is a good idea then follow your instinct because some people will be interested. Some ideas may be better than others, but all ideas are part of your process and personal development.
Tip #2: Think of the end.
When I was launching my podcast I wondered if it was worth it. I knew podcasting was growing like YouTube was growing ten or fifteen years ago. I imagined myself in the future looking back on my choices and asked myself, "How will I feel if I don't do this?" I could see that I would regret not trying.
Looking into the future and activating future hindsight is a great way to activate courage to help propel you forward.
Tip #3: Practice Objective Observer
Think about a time in your past when you started something new, like a new job. Remember the nerves you felt on your first day. Your palms may have been sweaty. Maybe you felt like everyone was staring at you. Think about the rookie mistakes you made. We have all gone through moments like this.
Now, think about yourself after the first year. You knew the job inside and out. You were confident with the actions you took to the point where you could help new people get acclimated.
Whenever you try something new, just think about how this new thing will feel in a year or so after you have been at it for awhile. Give yourself permission to be new. Make it OK to make mistakes. Keep pushing forward. Keep taking action.
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